Some new art finally

The best April fool’s prank I ever pulled off was moving to Japan and not publicly announcing it until April 1st in the US. Among the many other pranks people post, it seemed like I was joking around until I revealed I really had moved near the end of the day

A painting for a song I wrote for someone. However, they may never hear it and they may never see the painting. That’s just life sometimes I guess

The hardest part of this for me is, you had become the person I would turn to before anyone else to talk about my problems, fears, and worries. I really valued that. But I didn’t show it. I felt embarrassed to show you how much I cared and was scared. Now, suddenly, you’re gone… Just when my heart had finally healed from my old wounds you’re gone. Probably forever. And now in retrospect I realize it’s because I didn’t value myself… or you. I spent all this time trying to convince you I wasn’t worth your time because I didn’t feel like I had any worth of my own. My last relationship was awful and basically made me feel worthless. And as I told you around that same time is when I had a falling out with my father where he also basically told me to my face I’m worthless and have no value. And when I met you I was leaving for Japan partially to escape that. Sure it was my dream to come here, but I don’t know if my initial reasons for going were completely right. I’m realizing now I had only just started to deal with those feelings about myself. I acted weird, distant, and like I didn’t care because I thought you deserved better than me on some level. Because a part of me thinks that. I don’t think I deserve happiness. But you do. I really am sorry for all the grief I put you through chasing after me and I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you or myself about how I really felt until it was too late. The heartache has been unbearable It’s all my fault. I doubt I’ll ever forget this. I want to remember how I failed you…  and I’d do anything to have a chance to start over